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 Dalai Mama Weekly BlogWriter Catherine Newman really wants to parent mindfully; she wants to focus on the here and now while she raises her two kids, Ben, 8, and Birdy, 4. Check back here weekly to cheer her as she chronicles a parenting life that is not always so Zen.
But bed... bed is where time unwinds like a kite string, and I get to sail in the leisurely breezes of my family's company. There's Michael, of course, and our long habit of slipping in and out of conversation in the loving twilight of sleep (there's also, less romantically, a fairly established habit of slipping in and out of arguing in the irritable twilight of sleep, but more on that another time). And then there are the kids. Putting them to bed and waking up with them is an unspeakably happy part of my life.
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If your child appears to be naturally good at something, do you just enjoy it, or do you push it a little bit to translate it from an inclination to something more like a talent? I ask because Ben seems to have some real musical tendencies, and they don't come to him genetically.
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Sometimes it is more automatic, and for days at a time, I'll be the very model of modern maternal natural, baking buttermilk cakes for cheerful children, kissing rosy upturned cheeks, reading stories and singing lullabies and wearing kindness like a subtly beautiful perfume. And then, at other times, impatience exudes stinkingly from my very pores, clings to me like the kind of body odor that doesn't wash off even after you scrub at it with a loofah. In those times, I take stock and adjust; I revisit and revise; I question and regret and apologize and smack my forehead and wish it were easier. I wish it were easier.
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