Argue with Me!
Written By Jay Heinrichs
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Logos is argument by logic. If arguments were children, logos would be the brainy one, the big sister who gets top grades in high school. Forcing my kids to be logical forced them to connect what they wanted with the reasons they gave.
"Mary won't let me play with the car."
"Why should she?"
"Because she's a pig."
"So Mary should give you the car because she's a pig?"
Repeat the kid's premise (she's being a pig) with her conclusion (therefore she should let me play with the car), and she has to think logically.
Ethos, or argument by character, employs the persuader's personality, reputation, and ability to look trustworthy. (While logos sweats over its GPA, ethos gets elected class president.) My kids learned early on that a sterling reputation is more than just good; it's persuasive. In rhetoric, lying isn't just a foul because it's wrong, it's a foul because it's unpersuasive. A parent is more likely to believe a trustworthy kid and to accept her argument. For example, if both children — the entire list of suspects — deny having eaten the last cookie, ethos becomes important.
Me: "One of you took the cookie."
Dorothy: "Have I ever stolen cookies before?"
Me: "Good point. George?"
Then there's pathos, argument by emotion. It's the sibling who gets away with everything by skillfully playing on heartstrings. In rhetorical lingo, Dorothy's tantrum wasn't "pathetic" enough, because she was thinking too much about her own feelings and therefore failing to manipulate mine. Pathos happens to be the root word for "sympathy." When a kid learns to read your emotions and play them like an instrument, you're raising a good persuader.
Dorothy: "Dad, you look tired. Want to sit down?"
Me: "Thanks. Where did you have in mind?"
Dorothy: "Ben & Jerry's."
Logos, ethos, and pathos appeal to the brain, gut, and heart of adult and kid alike. While our brain tries to sort the facts, our gut tells us whether we can trust the other person, and our heart makes us want to do something about it. They're the essence of effective persuasion.
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