Now I Understand
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Ten Favorite Ways to Honor Mom
On my first Mother's Day, I received a card and a small box from my mom. Inside the box was a beautiful strand of pearls — something I'd always wanted. But the card was the best part: She said she was thoroughly enjoying both her first grandson and watching me develop into a caring, creative mother.When I was young, my grandmother would let me "shop" at her home for a Mother's Day gift for my mom, leaving things like a scarf or a stickpin on the bed. I had forgotten all about the ritual until I saw my grandmother sneak my 3-year-old son into her room. Curious, I snuck up to the door. She had collected about 10 things for him to "shop" from for my present.
Being patient with my mom is one way I try to honor her, especially since I know I tested her patience when I was young. As she's gotten older, she repeats herself a lot, which can be frustrating. But then I remember how lucky I am to have her around. One thing she never forgets to tell me is how much she loves me, and that's the kind of repeating a daughter can't get enough of.
Every Mother's Day, my husband and my 3-year-old come with me to put flowers on the grave of my birth mother, who died when I was 6. Then we go to my parents' house for dinner. My stepmom has been with me since I was 7. I admire her so much for taking on three additional kids when she married my dad. Only a strong and loving woman could pull off such a feat. I feel incredibly fortunate that I have the chance to follow in her wise footsteps.
Since I've become a mother I think a lot more about the "birth" part of birthdays. I've realized it's really my mom who deserves to be recognized on my birthday, not me. So now I send her a small gift on that day. For bringing me into the world, yes, but also for showing me every day since then what being a good mom is all about.
When I was 16 and knew everything, I used to claim I would never be like my own mother. But now I'm 35 with a 13-year-old daughter and a 2-year-old son. From counting to 10 when my daughter slams her bedroom door for the 100th time to laughing uncontrollably when my toddler disrobes and streaks across the house, there is not a day that goes by that I am not truly grateful that I learned how to be a mother from the woman who is mine.
Before I had kids, I talked to my mother on the phone maybe once a week. Now we speak almost daily — she is the only person in the world aside from my husband and me who can't wait to hear about our children's every accomplishment. I'm thrilled to share, and I love having such an enthusiastic audience, at any hour.
A few years ago, a mother in our neighborhood went through a difficult divorce. So my kids and I decided to put together a surprise breakfast basket for Mother's Day and we delivered it to her door early Sunday morning. That was four years ago, and she still talks about it to this day. Each year since, we've done something for the mothers in our community that we know might be having a tough time. It's a simple gesture, but it means a lot.
My daughter once gave me a small glass jar filled with slips of paper, each one with a reason she loved me written on it. It's something I'll keep forever.
The old saying "When you're a parent, you'll know that I'm only doing this because I love you" has never rung more true since I gave birth to my daughter. I now understand the tough choices my mother had to make, and that all those times I felt so angry with her she was only acting out of love. I don't think I can ever repay my mom for the wisdom she has given to me. I can only hope to raise my own daughter well so she will see her own spirit shining through in her granddaughter.
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