Bringing Up Bébé
Written By Emma Bland Smith
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Diapered Détente
Determined not to play the ugly Americans, Everett and I sat up a little straighter. I got him a bib like Méline's, a backward shirt-like number that caught every last drop of artichoke purée. I talked about breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snack (goûter) instead of feeding on demand. If you'll pardon my French, we got our merde together.
Marie Catherine, for her part, tried giving Méline some pasta. "What do you call it — finger food?" she asked. Méline picked up the noodles, examined them, and joyfully flung them to the floor, one after the other. Just like an American child, I thought fondly.
I won't say that either Marie Catherine or I became total converts to the other's style. I'll probably keep letting my messy toddler feed himself tortellini and peas, and Marie Catherine will surely carry on giving Méline her little jars of Norwegian salmon and spinach — and teach her to use a spoon and fork when the time is right, probably long before Everett does.
Chacun â son goût (to each his own taste), n'est-ce pas? More than anything else, I learned that though our methods might differ (clash, even), kids can come out right no matter how you raise them, as long as it's done with love and the best intentions.
Or so we hope. I'll get back to you in 20 years.
Vive La Différence! Child-Rearing Here and in France.
Breastfeeding
U.S.: We hire lactation consultants and obsess about "the latch." Docs recommend breastfeeding for at least one year.
France: While the breastfeeding rate is increasing, France still trails most of the world. (In 2003 the rate at birth was about 50 percent, compared to about 70 in the U.S.)
Pacifiers
U.S.: Many parents lie to their pediatrician about giving their child a binkie; magazines give instructions for weaning.
France: Practically every baby I saw was chomping on a pacifier, fastened with a chic plastic chain.
Preschool
U.S.: Half-day programs are common; kids bring brown bags and sippy cups of milk.
France: Typically runs from 9 a.m. until 4 p.m. Hot three-course lunches (such as chicken and rice, salad, and pudding) are prepared by a cook and eaten on real dishes. Kids wear slippers indoors and brush their teeth after meals.
Snacks
U.S.: Cubes of cheese, grapes (cut in half!), or crackers, administered on demand.
France: Goûter is promptly at 4, right after school — no noshing between meals. Favorites are squares of milk chocolate in baguettes and bread with Nutella.
