I grin back. "Like that."

"Like this?" she repeats, and goes down again. About 10 times. Extending her arms, she torpedoes dolphin-style through the water, her face submerged, and comes up laughing and proud. The lessons took, I see now, but remained submerged until the time when Leah felt swimming was her idea, or when her fear of dunking had sufficiently abated. I cheer her on. I wish I could have seen more quickly past my own ambitions, fears, and the advice of others. But we're learning — her to swim, and me to follow her lead.

Joanna Nesbit, of Bellingham, WA, is trying to stay relaxed about her younger child, Ty, now 6, who — guess what? — refuses to dunk.