You respect your preschooler's will of steel; on the other hand, you've got to call the shots — at least some of the time. We asked an author, a teacher, and the father of a resolute daughter, "How do you guide this willful child without squashing her spirit?"

Mary Sheedy Kurcinka, author of "Raising Your Spirited Child," St. Paul, MN:
"You need to discover and appreciate who's come to live with you. It's important to realize that your child is not trying to be difficult — this is their temperament, how they react to the world. Parents should understand that these kids have traits we value in adults; they are just 'more' — more high energy, passionate, persistent. Parents can help their child manage this intensity by teaching them the skills to understand their triggers, know what soothes them, and help them build the vocabulary to express emotions. Then, parents can show their child how to channel this intensity into a positive outlet."